Survival with Integrity

This is a difficult time for so many right now.  Many don’t know what to believe, who to trust.  Many don’t know what to do.  Many don’t know what to do to survive, to feed and care for their family, their future, their well-being, their mental health.  Those of us in the mental health community are supposed to have some wisdom in these areas, and hence this writing. 

And then I add to this the word “Integrity.”  A simple working definition here may be something that does what it promises.  A person of integrity is a person whose word and whose actions agree.  This is a person we can trust, that has integrity.  A building can have integrity if it is built to stand up and protect those living or working within in storms and other calamities. It can be trusted to do what it promises.  A leader with integrity will follow through and will do what their leadership (promise, contract, agreement) has stipulated.

A government officer’s primary allegiance is to uphold (do) the United States Constitution, while a citizen’s integrity is in their pledged allegiance to their country. To technically counter this is ‘treason’ – a serious and punishable offense.

So, I will limit myself to a combination of Survival and Integrity. especially since there are a number of survival options that don’t represent Integrity—one of which I considered last month in my Newsletter about the “Liars.”  Another common survival technique is to deny any personal responsibility, which is a cousin to the “lie”—commonly considered to be “place the blame on somebody else, then kill/destroy them.”  Also known as “bullying”- a very popular high-level skill these days. 

This is a rather random / scattered list of suggestions that come to my mind.  But we’re in a ‘scattery’ time, and I’ve been rather ‘scattery’ myself lately. So here goes.

Catch the Lie

Here I refer to my February Newsletter, “The Pocket Mirror.”¹ Be aware when you are being lied to, or at least suspect it.  But don’t allow it to “enter your body” – rather, use a “pocket mirror” to deflect it to the ground.  If you deflect it back to the source, you may simply amplify the damage energy.  And as I will often advise, send (mirror) it into the ground – which can 1) absorb it and/or 2) transmute it into a more positive energy.  (I can’t explain it, but find it true.)

This is a good way to avoid the stress that accompanies conflict. It can be easy to get ‘caught up’ in a conflict—it can feel ‘really good’ for a brief while, even addicting. 

Recently, I had become quite proud of my brag-worthy creative ways of countering telemarketers (a common scourge). But then I became aware of how it could increase my own stress level (even though it was quite fun!). As a businessman, I couldn’t just ignore phone calls. So, now I have redesigned my responses to be less purposefully toxic but still appropriately dismissive. (It’s still a creative venture.)

Avoid your own Anger

My son Michael, [Michael McDonald @ authentic integrity] has regular FaceBook sayings, one of which is:

Whenever you become outraged, you become easy to fool.

Anger is a trap.  One common conflict strategy is to “get the other guy to fight crazy.”  It diminishes your opponent’s ability to think clearly.  Though it has its benefits in possibly winning a particular skirmish, it lacks the integrity of encouraging a larger balanced outcome.

The Healing Power of Nature

Sometimes, I’ll simply suggest having a houseplant or a pet—something that involves our nurturing care. Or to  “get out in Nature” is itself healing (now that Spring is finally emerging). Sit down at the foot of a tree (don’t choose an ailing tree). Or touch a tree or bush as you walk by—as if asking for a blessing.

Despise Nothing, Honor Everything

I’ve written of this before – a lesson my father taught me.

I’ve had a client (hi-functioning Asperger’s) for a few years, who is quite (intelligently) Right Wing politically.  He knows I’m more prone to a Progressive stance – but I listen to him, and though I often don’t agree, I’ve learned a lot from him about ‘the other side.’  My work with this client is to model the ability to listen and appreciate opposing viewpoints.  I know he appreciates that I truly listen yet without having to contend.  We do well together.

Learn to Bless

Back in my telemarketer-contending days, I’d come across some whose initial encounter was to give me a blessing.  I wouldn’t respond, but internally considered it just a sales gimmick.   

But since I’ve quit ‘gaming’ them, I’ve decided to take it seriously, as (or as if) a genuinely offered gift – and now will respond simply with a “thank you.”

Back in my anti-VietNam war days, I carried a blessed awareness that there were mothers and grandmothers who would also pray for/with mothers and grandmothers of the soldiers we were sent to kill – and was grateful that such maturity existed (which I usually attributed to women).

Some years ago, I began a practice (actually an hallucination) that when I encountered a ‘common laborer’ or someone because of their appearance,I’d be tempted to look down upon, I’d imagine that in the morning, he’d been sent off to work by a woman who adored him.  It was a way to bless him, and follow up with a simple prayer that it be true.  It was always such a delight to my heart to do that.

One piece of advice,: when blessing is part of a ‘survival’ strategy, or in a matter of ‘redeeming the energy’ or a relationship – it’s best to not speak them out loud.  It’s a matter between you and God (or whatever Higher Power).  To bless out loud, can be seen (and perhaps rightly) as an ego or power play.

We’ve been here before – and (many have) Survived

History has its cycles. I’m old enough to have been here before. And out of it would slowly emerged a “new normal”—like a phoenix arising from the ashes of a purifying fire. Just a few years ago, we began emerging from COVID-19. I came across a Newsletter I wrote just five years ago, “Toward a New Normal.”  It was full of hope (and one of my better writings). We’re not yet there in terms of this current crisis/upheaval.²

Yet, history teaches us that 1) Catastrophe and destruction can come upon us quickly, and 2) rebuilding is slow.  3) in the ‘mean’ time many people(s) can suffer and die. And, according to my person ethic, it is our moral imperative that we care for them. In fact, it’s a Biblical precept that our final judgment is based on how well we care for the casualties – human and otherwise.

The Double Demonic

The double demon of our current crisis is that it begins with the deliberate destruction of those forces and institutions that were designed to care for its casualties.  It’s like a Fire Department that reduces its fire engines and equipment by 70% and fires 50% of its manpower to “save” us from something more important than human lives, more important than humanity itself.

Prayer

When I first made notes for this writing, my first note was about ‘prayer.’ Many people pray, others meditate, but there seems often something deep within that wants to reach out for ‘higher’ assistance. 

My first advice is to pray for rather against.  For example, pray for peace rather than against war.  The frame of reference is part of the petition.  Secondly, be prepared, i.e. pay attention, for an immediate answer.  And third, though it may take some courage, ask what you can do to help get things there (no matter your political or moral mindsest).

“Deliver us from Evil”

I’ve noticed in the past few months, each time I wrap up my Newsletter, I realize I need to face the question of Evil.  Maybe even write about it.  I don’t know how soon that will be – but it keeps showing up.  And I’m enough a servant of my own writing that I have to pay attention.   You too.

As always,

Bill McDonald

Footnotes

¹   Read at https://billmcdonaldonline.com/newsletter/2025/02/personal-protection-the-pocket-mirror/

²   Read at  https://billmcdonaldonline.com/newsletter/2020/04/toward-a-new-normal/