Liars

Part Two in a series on Countering Aggression

Lying as Aggression

My working definition here of lying is A conscious corruption of reality by the spoken word – and therefore, is an aggressive act, even if accidental, and even if the intention is unconscious. 

The Mirror

Last month, I wrote about using the power of a mirror as an instrument of self-protection – and I continue here for that same purpose of self-protection.   

Let me stretch the metaphor a little farther here.  If we look at ourselves in a mirror, what we see reflected is generally an accurate representation of ourselves.  We may or may not enjoy it, but there’s an implicit accuracy of representation involved.  And because we trust what we see, we are able, if we wish, to make corrections in our reality.  Also, what we see and how we may alter the reality of what we see is generally how others will see us.  We count on that.

However, if the mirror is cracked or broken, what we see reflected becomes “a corruption of our reality”, an altered (shattered) reality.  It lies to us.  We cannot trust it to show us truth.

Terms

Now, many would entertain that there are varying definitions, experiences, and levels of trust in areas of reality, truth, beliefs, perceptions, prejudices, etc. etc.  Of course these exist.  And when they may contend, our healthy response is conversation, dialogue, argument, debate, discussion, etc.  These become a social art, and an anticipated outcome is a broader understanding of the territory.  It is not an issue of lying.  Lying instead contains an element of  aggression, power over, a win-lose frame of reference.  It’s purpose is division.  Divide and conquer.  It’s energy is hostility, which can easily lead to hatred.

The Energetics

When truth is told.  And I’m speaking of the specific use of language.  When truth is spoken, there’s commonly an atmosphere of peace, harmony, love, well-being, and inviting creative problem-solving.  The words of Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi – and recently in the sermon of Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde at our recent presidential inauguration. Each speaking for the marginalized and oppressed.

It takes a lot of love to counter hatred.  The metaphor of the broken mirror symbolically says seven years. 

There’s a lot written about liars – how to recognize them, how to deal with them.  (Lots on YouTube.)  Recently, while driving, I heard a radio interview (hence I missed an attribution) adding an additional liar category – the bully liar.  This person can be fully aware he or she is lying, as often does the recipient.  However, the bully liar doesn’t care, except to bully the recipient into compliance.  We used to consider that “fact checking” would help counter lies, but the bully liar seems immune. Hence the emergence of the autocrat – the very entity our 236 year old Constitution of the United States of America was created to avoid. 

The Anatomy of a Lie

What happens when one tells a lie – A conscious corruption of reality – that corrupt reality enters the brain of the listener, and unless the listener is sufficiently ‘on guard’ for such an aggressive onslaught, the lie can be easily planted.  When this happens to children, who, are vulnerable to adult reality or cultural distortion, incorporate the distortion.  It’s no surprise that one of the first governmental efforts to be recently abolished was the DEI (Diversity Equity & Inclusion) program.  We can be more easily diminished to a single or primary racial identity, and one political party.  And the bully lie can more easily prevail.  We become the “gated community” writ large.

Next is to bully down (aka destroy) the Department of Education.  Then the libraries, and the news outlets.  Next come the cultural institutions.  Like the Germany of the 1930’s, spell-binding an entire nation isn’t that difficult when the populace is asleep, and/or enraged – either can dull or mute reality awareness.  The minority oppressed can be easily ghettoed or deported.

Redeeming Ourselves from the Lie

The Russian Naval Commander

I recall a seminary instructor sharing with us a book he was reading about the Russian Navy in World War One.  A particular Naval Commander was asked – how could he justify that his only purpose was the destruction of other ships?  His response has stayed with me these many years:  “A man has to do what a man has to do, then he says his prayers.”  Now, it would be easy to say he was taking the easy way out.  My take on the quote is that there is often a necessity, but superior to necessity is his spiritual practice.

The world of the lie has no high spiritual connection.  Only the demonic.

I like having a spiritual connection.  It means that no matter what I do, I am accountable to a higher order, which affirms my humanity, as well as my flaws.  Both at the same time.  (An excellent model for mental health.)

Bloody Sunday

Just a couple days before writing this Newsletter, was the 60th anniversary of Bloody Sunday, marking the brutal confrontation in Selma, Alabama, on March 7, 1965, when peaceful protesters were brutally confronted by law enforcement at the Edmund Pettis Bridge while marching to demand voting rights. I was in seminary at the time, and some of my fellow seminarians made the trip down from New Jersey to participate.  This anniversary serves as a reminder of the ongoing struggle for civil rights and the importance of protecting democracy – especially today.

It was this violence and the acts of non-violent resistance that were a part of the great American Civil Rights movement,

The FBI has the tactical saying, “Just follow the money” (the anatomy map of human greed).

For us, to redeem ourselves from the Lie, “Just follow the cry of the oppressed”  (the primary ethic of the God of the Old and New Testaments).

The Need for Community, Connecting

We can’t do this alone.  The purpose of the Lie is to separate us from one another.  And the social opportunities and institutions that have traditionally brought people together are diminishing these days – and loneliness can make people more vulnerable.  We used to “belong” to something larger than ourselves – something with more than just a blue-light screen.

Fewer people are involved in religion or spiritual community, which also posits a higher ethical order.  Yet these days there’s a lot of disaffection due to the presence of the Lie in religious institutions. “Faith” can be good at dividing – the lie of hypocrisy.  Neighborhoods were more important.  There were places where we could “belong”, which also could form us in what we “believe.”  Maybe just having a good therapist, LOL. Now, much of our ‘connection’ is concentrated in our ‘electronics.’  Without ‘real’ socialization, we are more vulnerable to be lied to.  Connecting with Nature is also honesting, or healing.

One of the subtle functions of our American penal system is to deprive inmates of healing connections for the sake of punishment.  That’s why many of its population emerge even more wounded.  One of the seven Catholic Corporal Acts of Mercy is to visit (connect with) the imprisoned.

      I recently took on a new client who had recently been released from a number of years in prison.  As I questioned him about how he survived, he shared that it is important to allow seek inmate friendships, but never completely trust anybody there. Like for many under oppression, survival can be a very careful balance.  And prisons are not meant or designed to be a model of our better social order.  (Over the many years of my practice, I’ve had a number of clients recently released from prison – and I’ve gleaned a lot from their prison experiences.)

Too often, our alternatives involve our being ‘used’ for someone else’s benefit.  One of the prevailing evils of society is the institution of servitude or slavery – that which denigrates one to a lesser level of humanity.  Which circles back around to aggression, subtle and overt.   It destroys trust.  It destroys dignity.  It destroys our humanity (Diversity Equity & Inclusion).  And that’s what I want to deal with in this series.

A Temporary Final Note

To lie, as to tell the truth, are both human phenomena – involving language, our uniquely human use of words.  Animals don’t lie (though they can learn to please and/or ‘manipulate’  us.)  Lying is primarily a human phenomenon.

This has been a new foray or discussion on my part, and I found that the more I wrote, the more there is a need to explore.  Such as: 

Protection from liars.  Protection from our own lies.

The question of human evil.  And other spiritual dimensions.

The Biblical Ninth Commandment.

How to listen to (or watch) the daily News. 

Where do we look for wisdom.

and, my original purpose in writing this series: 

  How to protect ourselves from the Lie, or our own lies.

I’ve gone way beyond my publisher’s (my son Michael) suggested Newsletter length.

But, I’ll continue thinking, researching, exploring and writing – probably for next month.

And I welcome comments and suggestions.

And especially because this subject is so important for this particular time, I sign off (as usual),

Pay Attention