Specialties
People often ask, “Why do I do things that aren’t good for me?”
As therapists, we’ll often answer the question obliquely with some explanation, not of why we do these things in the first place, but rather how to undertake the frequently difficult process of changing or stopping a particular behavior or habit. We can understand and guide one through such a complex undertaking.
I had a client many years ago, a career engineer working for General Motors, who, in the past, had been a severe alcoholic. But he told me he had quit alcohol – one day some years before, he had just stopped and never touched a drop since. Ever since, I’ve wished I’d asked him specifically how he did that. But since his purpose for being with me was seemingly unrelated, I didn’t pursue that question. However, it has stuck in the back of my brain ever since.
More recently, I’ve revisited how some people can and do change bad habits effortlessly and have collected several clues to the process. I don’t guarantee that this will work for everybody, but it’s emerging as a process I trust can be done. And that’s the mark of a good therapist.