Personal Protection – the  Pocket Mirror

Part One in a series on Countering Aggression

Backstory

Many years ago, when my children were “just kids,” I wandered into our living room where they were watching Saturday Morning Cartoons.  I decided to sit and watch since it wasn’t a regular part of my being-at-home regimen.  Here’s what I saw:

In the front was an unremarkable gathering of round-headed folks. Behind them was what I took to be a large ‘jungle.’  From somewhere in the ‘back’ of the ‘jungle’ there arose a red tower, on top of which was a ray gun aiming at (my) folks at the front of the screen. Then from this ray gun there emanated a harsh red ‘death ray’ – whereupon from within my folks there arose a similar red tower, on top of which was a large round mirror. The death ray was reflected back to its source, and from over the top of the jungle, there appeared to be a huge explosion.

I walked away saying to myself “Hmmm.”

Next Scene

Some time later, probably a few weeks, I was working with a therapy client.  She was recounting an all-too-frequent incident with an employer, where the latter was shouting, and demeaning my client in a definitely unprofessional manner.  (Note: I knew this employer from an outside context and could, without difficulty, imagine my client’s account as likely accurate.)

So, on the spot, I recalled and then re-told that Saturday Morning Cartoon – after which I then said this to my client:

The Pocket Mirror Tactic

Let me tell you something about the pure power of the human imagination.  It’s one of the most powerful forces on the human planet.  So pay attention to me.

The next time you encounter your boss, and she begins her customary affront, in your imagination (only), do this:

You are a woman, and very often, a woman carries a purse.  Reach in your purse (this is only in your imagination; whether you have a purse or not is not important, and no muscle in your body is actually moving).  Many or most women will carry a small pocket mirror in their purse.  So reach into your (imaginary – no actual muscles moving) purse, and pull out an (imaginary) pocket mirror.  Open the mirror, and hold it (all this in your imagination) in front of your chest or breastbone, aiming it to reflect your boss.

Response

At our next session, my client exclaimed, “Oh my God, Bill, she literally shrank right in front of my face!” 

My Response (Learnings)

My first  response was something like “OMG, this is much more powerful than I had anticipated.  I need to be careful.

Over many years now, I have taught this tactic to various clients.  One of the first things I’ll share is to use great caution in reflecting an aggressor’s negativity back upon him or herself.  This tactic can be beneficial especially in situations of physical threat – but to mirror back that energy may simply increase it in your offender. (Recall what it did in the original cartoon.)

So, my first ROE (Rule of Encounter) is to “Aim it Down” – tilt your mirror so the offending energy is aimed always “toward the Earth.” whatever is ‘down’ – floor, carpet, asphalt, cement, vehicle (even airplane) underside. An ancient wisdom has given our Earth the ability to transform negative energy into positive.  Clients have shared with me that even when their own anger is redirected into the earth, flowers and vegetables grow better there.

Another ROE, advises we rarely if ever redirect negative energy toward another person.  For sure, such an subtle offense cannot be used against you in a Court of Law, but we are each still responsible for the damage we do when we demean another person.  Most (if not all) Indigenous peoples, and spiritual communities, have a wisdom to include “all living beings” in this primary ethic.

The Power of the Mirror

There’s an old ‘superstition’ that if a person breaks a mirror, it will mean seven years of bad luck.  However, for me, it has this special meaning – if you are looking at yourself when the mirror is broken, your sense of self, or “soul,” is ‘fractured’ for “seven years” – that is, a complete cycle of time.  There’s lots of advice online about ‘healing’ this.

I think of Harry Potter’s ‘Invisibility Cloak’ – and consider a similar pattern (though it’s been many years since I read him).  If his ‘cloak’ is like a mirror, it can prevent anyone from seeing the wearer, or even the cloak itself.  Again the profound power of the human imagination. 

A quote from Albert Einstein: “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”

The Stroke Economy

Years ago, in my professional training, I learned that the ‘balance of power’ of positive to negative human energies was generally 10 to 1.  A stroke is defined as an element of human exchange (i.e. a simple smile or a casual ‘hello’ could count as one stroke.)  It takes ten positive strokes to balance one negative stroke.  Imagine the power of a parent yelling hatefully at a child.  Imagine the power of one “hate” needing ten “loves” to correct the balance.  Imagine the number of caring police needed to balance the reputation damage of one ‘crooked cop.’ (But if I wanted to be rich…. ‘crooked’ might help lol.)

The Power of Hate

Having written so far in this Newsletter – I come face-to-face, with another obvious – how easy it is for humans to hate.  I remember a woman friend years ago specifically forbidding her children from ever using the word “hate.”  It wasn’t a perfect family, but I was impressed with the specificity of that singular “rule.”

Also, a deep meaning of the “Stroke Economy” is how much easier it is to generate hatred among humans.  “Divide and conquer” (AKA Divide and Rule) goes the old wisdom.  When Bishop Budde addressed President Trump at his Inauguration, she 1) was begging for mercy for those who were legitimately afraid of his actions, but also (subtle but profound) 2) alluded to the fact that our new government is “scaring people”, on purpose.  And in that front row, nobody was impressed.  How effectively the immigrant and the marginalized all become criminals, and therefore it’s OK to get rid of them, or at least terrorize them to prove their dehumanization. 

Some years ago I came upon statistics demonstrating the exceedingly high rate of incarceration in the United States, compared to most other major nations.  We love to punish.

And so I have much more to write, and will continue writing on the subject of Countering Aggression.

The “Pocket Mirror” can be a useful tool, but you’ll notice I advise it with caution.  Wisdom tells me I’ve taken the cover off a viper’s nest.  But in our world today, that cover’s already been blown.  We have so much to lose – so much to lose.  (And it’s so easy to be blind.)

Pay Attention – and see you next month.