Hope
At the turn of the year, I heard many comments from friends and clients, that we have just come through a most difficult year (2025). Some of those who had suffered personal difficulty or tragedy, would seem able to look to the New Year 2026 with Hope.
Now hope is generally an American phenomenon, whenever in doubt – we are trained, or train ourselves, to ‘look for a silver lining.” I long remember my sixth grade Sunday School teacher, Mrs. Bessie Locke, who was also the county Republican Chairperson, teaching us her two important lessons 1) always clean under your fingernails, and 2) remember that in the word “American” are the words “I can.” I still think of her every time I use my Revlon fingernail file.
From within that 1950s optimism, even when we went to war, we believed we would win, in spite of the cost. We survived Senator Joe McCarthy, the cold war, and polio. And we made improvements for those who suffered poverty, disease, racial and other injustices.
Despair
But at the turn of this year, others were saying nothing. There was no established language to represent the backdrop of despair that pervaded almost every corner we would turn to. Necessary truths had been turned into streams of lies. Systems that were designed to “serve and protect” are being systematically eviscerated.
Economic systems more easily lose their ability to temper human greed. As I wrote in an earlier Newsletter, the rich get richer, and the poor die. Literally.
A New Language
The language of Hope has been stolen. (cf George Orwell’s “Newspeak” in his 1984)
Most, maybe all, Religions can easily regress to a dark underbelly – the ability to judge and divide.1
A Silent Language of Human Goodness (or Decency).
I read recently a brief article about General, and then Secretary of State George C Marshall, who envisioned in 1947, and was able to convince, the victorious allies of WWII to invest in the economic development of the defeated countries, for example Germany, for their own sakes.
Let me suggest a new (and often silent) ‘Language’ of Human Goodness. Recently I’ve come across the term “Service” to represent this. At its heart it seeks out the Humanity of each other.
At my advanced age, I can no longer mow my own yard, or shovel snow off my own walks. But I have a neighbor who loves to use my Toro Zero-Turn riding mower, as well as shovel my walks. And I can pay his wife for some housekeeping help.
I enjoy opening doors at the post office, and elsewhere – whether the recipient needs it or not.2 I used to be told (by those who remember her) that I’ve inherited my mother’s smile, which is frequently and easily returned.
I’ll shun automatic check-out grocery lanes, instead to be able to interact with a (real human) cashier. This in spite of the fact that I’m generally shy in larger person social settings.
Many years ago I traveled to New Jersey to spend some time with an old girlfriend, and when spending a day in New York City, she would specifically insist I never look at anybody in the face, walking those Manhattan sidewalks. It wasn’t “safe.” I still remember how sad I felt at that. I couldn’t be me. (Even though she was probably right, especially being an attractive woman.)
The Larger Picture
The larger picture is frightening – we’re taught to be afraid of each other, to cleanse ourselves from those who look, sound, act, dress, even smell, different.
There was a time, when I was much younger, when the term “jack-booted thugs” meant either Gestapo or Bikers3. But now they’re agents of our own government, sent in to “divide and deport” Remember ethnic cleansing?” The concept of “care for” has become “care against.” That’s psychologically easier to instill, but much more difficult to counter and correct.
Which is our Primary Ethic?
I was born and raised within a primary Judaeo- Christian ethic. We had a God who cared for the “little people.” His primary ethical judgment was against those who were persecuted. Women and children who had no legal rights.4 And one of his primary judgments of a society was how those with no rights were treated. Jesus preached the Beatitudes5, “blessed are the poor…” etc – those who are favored.
Our other ethic is about wealth and the wealthy (who become the opposite of the poor). It has to do with making money and keeping or using it to make more. Current critical theory focuses on how it allows the rich to get richer while the poor get poorer – and in the service of human greed. Care for the ‘people’ becomes care for an increasingly narrow population. That’s an ethic against the “common good.”
Antidotes
So there are two different antidotes. The first is rebellion. Just take a look around. The term “civil war” is creeping into our vocabulary again.
The second antidote is where I started this writing – seeking an Antidote to that deadening Despair. Which is to
Take Care of Each Other Anyway.
The Ethic of Service to Each Other
This is actually a corollary to the other increasingly popular ethic of our time – the ethic of Gratitude. Being Grateful is the opposite of self-sufficiency. Gratitude assumes we need each other.
And so in our everyday life, we reach out to honor the basic humanity of each other. We open the door for each other. We’re willing to get to know our neighbors again (no matter who they voted for). We look out for each other – which means that we see and are seen. It may sound a bit Mr. Rogersish – but that’s it exactly! (“Won’t you be my neighbor?”) I remember some years ago, I took a woman friend to an emergency doctor visit, for a severe UTI. She was in her late 60’s and afterward told me I was the first man who’d ever done that for her. (Wow!)
I could go on and on. But just one more example: If we’re in sales, do we want to make a sale for the money, or so that the customer will remember what we did for him or her? Now, don’t answer “both” (which effectively means ‘neither.’) Honestly decide one or the other. And that will make all the difference.
And the Despair Quotient in the world will be lowered just a bit. Also I promise the Angels of Heaven will take note.
Pay Attention
Footnotes
1 My Methodist Preacher father, would tell me that if you look closely, any idea on earth could find support somewhere in our Bible.
2 Back in the early days of “Women’s Lib” when women (actually) insisted on opening their own doors – I had stopped the courtesy, except in ‘obvious need’ situations. And it was some years later before I again felt comfortable in the face of “liberated women.” Now again I enjoy the genuine “thank yous” I receive.
3 Sorry, bikers.
4 I find it amazing to consider that it’s been since I was born (1941), that women and children were granted full legal rights in our own country. (And still and again, the attitude of servitude and subjugation is today waving it’s clawed paws.)
…5 a series of blessings pronounced by Jesus during the Sermon on the Mount, found in the Gospel of Matthew (5:3-12).
6 thoughts on “An Antidote to Despair”
Bill I read your comments every time they get here. Thankyou. Here are my comments about present day rule.
Thugs wearing desert camouflage gear in the snow are not sensibly policing anyone, they are instilling fear because one man wants it that way and he has a band of sycophants not telling the emperor he has no clothes. As you suggest, it is all about money making more money. I am waiting for the day when we are told the new currency will be crypto as the people making these new rules, I call them ‘crules’ who seem to have no compassion, but plenty of greed, do seem to be enamored by crypto, and are collecting it. Same ones needing oil to be their savior.
I never knowingly passed a person I did not smile at, help out, say a greeting to. I take care of the life around me because it is the normal thing to do. People are not used to kindness … so many tell me Thankyou you have been so kind, you are such a help etc and I always say you know all I am being is normal. When everyday care of others is seen as something special, unexpected, unusual, we have lost our way somewhere. never be so big that you cannot reach down to pick another up.
My husband’s great grandfather was a co founder of The Iowa Band, brave young students who fought against slavery and the poor treatment of those people brought to the USA against their will, and subjected to terrible things. Very few stood up for these people then. This is perhaps, the time in America others seem refer to as GREAT.lets make it great again. A yearning to make the country like that again. I always ask, tell me when it was great? No one can ever answer me.
I have several books of letters of family history, that were collected at the end of each year, those sent, received and answered, what a trove they are. Not my relatives but my Husband’s. I am an immigrant who married my yank, 40 years ago and reside here. These letters date back to 1835 and end just after WW11. My DHs father’s family and his mother’s family all did good things for this country, learned people on both sides, becoming ministers and professors. The Adams and the Clarks. Good mix there. The letters are just wonderful to read. For a while my mother in law as a child, lived in Hoover’s home in Palo Alto as her father, a professor of history at Stamford was friend of President Hoover, and helped establish the Hoover Library. Staunch Republicans, they had money, but being a Republican then was quite different to today as they did good things for others and shared their ideas and wealth fir common good.
Anyway I better stop rattling on here. I can tell you I have been told a few times to get back from where I came from, and you maybe surprised to learn I am British, blonde blue eyed and white! I grew up in the midst of bomb sites as destruction was all around and shortages and rationing and make do and mend. We opened doors for others, gave our seats to adults, and kept to the unwritten rules that one behaved in a manner fitting to the British way. We did keep calm and carried on. Most of us. I still believe that most people can be kind, loving and accepting. We just have to stand up to those who are bullies and not be scared to speak truth. Watch the movie, Paradise Road, based on a true story of women who were endlessly marched through the jungles in WW11 and never lost their compassion.
Keep up the good work, Regards Lizzie Clark
Lizzie Clark,
Thanks for sharing who you really are. That itself is what I wanted to encourage, and need to hold dear. It’s a great read. And a worthy response to what I’ve written.
Yours, Bill McDonald
I rarely, if ever, reply to your newsletter, although to be sure I often respond to what you’ve written.
First, I find it humourous you say you’re shy in large groups as I met you in Alma as part of a large and roudy musical group…Mother Grove. In fact, one of my fondest memories is spending breakfast and concert times with you as a “merch wench” for the band. You took us in en masse, and became part of our yearly trek up North.
That said, the line that most grabbed me in this post, to the point I went back and re-read it several times is:
“Systems that were designed to “serve and protect” are being systematically eviscerated.”
Thanks for putting into words a thought that has been brewing in my mind looking specifically for the word “eviscerated”. Graphic & to the point. Bravo.
Stay kind my friend, love always & always love ~~Diane (aka Di, merch wench extraordinaire)
Oh yes! – energized by that great Kilt Rock music, the drums, and the Guinness.
I like this one and wish it would be read by more people. People on “both sides”!!!!
“Could he be right?”
A few days after this Newsletter was published, a friend phoned me with a critique. We’ve known each other for some time, and one area where we’ll differ is the political spectrum. He began with a gentle critique that I was a “bit strong” in my political ‘opinions.’ He then shared an account of his differences, which I recognized as representing a commonly expressed alternative viewpoints. He knows we’re not in agreement here. But he also knows that I, though not agreeing, basically have a respect for his intelligence, his ‘thinking things out’. He could have “raised my hackles” (whatever that means). But instead, I went to an inner ‘Plan B’ and asked myself, “could he be right?” And my answer was, of course, that’s a possibility – Yes. And he knows that I’ll listen, and honestly thank him for his insight.
Very few things are absolutely right or wrong. That’s why we are each given the grace to speak and listen to each other. It’s called respect and can encourage a healthy dialogue. (That makes me a good marriage counselor.)
I was an American Field Service (originating from the volunteer ambulance drivers during World Wars I & II) Foreign Exchange Student way back in 1958 – their motto and guiding principle was: “Walk together, talk together, all you people of the earth, and we shall have Peace.”
Back in my college days (in the early 1960s), I was emerging as a Radical, yet whenever the softspoken conservative commentator William F Buckley would speak, I had to listen, because he actually made sense.