A New Way to Pray – Boldly

OK, for this one I’m putting on my semi-religious/spiritual writer’s hat.

First, some backstory.

My father was a Methodist minister.  My mother the daughter of a minister, who became a Methodist when they emigrated from England.  So, as a child, they taught me to pray before bed.  That was many years ago, and my only memories are of kneeling at my bedside while one or the other of my parents gently ‘coached’ me.  It wasn’t an ordeal, it was ‘just the pro forma, the way it was.’  I would pray for my parents, and then for my sister (3y younger).  I wasn’t especially close to my sister, but praying for her was no problem. Then when my brother came along, he was also included.  No trauma.  Just a comfortably instilled pro forma.

Moving Ahead many Years

Then life led me by many twists and turns into the ministry of the Episcopal Church – where prayer was often more glorious than personal.  And also into a private counseling practice – both which I still deeply love.  (Those two sentences effectively cover way over half a century.)

The woman I married had little affection for the church – she once told me that as a young girl she prayed to God for a bicycle, which she never got, and always blamed God (and me). Then, after almost 25 years, and some good times, the marriage eventually collapsed.

After some years, I dated a woman (now deceased) who had a very strong and effective belief in intercessory prayer calling it “Storming the Gates.”  That made a strong impression on me.

Now Currently

Three years ago, I began working with a woman, who in a severe auto accident, her passenger (friend) was killed.  Alcohol was involved.  It was certain that a prison sentence was ahead, and she asked me to help her prepare.  After a year and a half of our work, she was sentenced to Fifteen Years. We have kept in touch by mail for almost a year now, and I have finally been granted visitation status.

She has learned that she was over-sentenced, but she’s advised that an appeal would put her in front of the same judge, who could make it even worse, given the jurisdiction and personalities involved.  You can imagine her despair.  A fair sentence would be half that, and she knows some justice is necessary.

And so we have both turned to prayer 

She is a faithful Christian, but has been prone to a lot of “leave it to God” advice.  But I have found myself moving in a different direction.  I have prayed nightly for her now three years, and actively advise her.  And so I‘m sharing here how that advice has developed.

The Rhythms of Prayer

A standard response to “teach me to pray” is to learn The Lord’s Prayer.  It’s a good prayer, as a ‘teaching prayer’ it covers a lot of territory, even theological territory, but in ‘real reality’ it can be pretty “vanilla.”

The Gesthemane Rhythm

I prefer the rhythm of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, before his Crucifixion, facing the fact that his Father (God) was going to let him be crucified (die a torturous death). Three times begging with tears (of blood) to “let this cup pass from me” – only to finish each time with “Thy will, not mine, be done.”  The rhythm is My Will // Thy Will.  In terms of time:  One hour // 5 minutes.  In terms of human energy:  Agony // Resignation.

Can we imagine God responding:  “Just shut up, Jesus, I’m in charge here!”  No, God was silent.

Can we imagine God responding to my friend in prison:  “Just shut up, woman, let me be in charge here!”

Jesus was in his full Humanity in Gesthemane. Actually, I can fully imagine God himself suffering to see his only son in his full human suffering high purposeful humanity.

When I first began to pray for my friend that her prison sentence be reduced to a more just and merciful length, I felt maybe I should just leave it in God’s hands.  He’s so much wiser than my human request.  But then I recalled my old friend’s “Storming the Gates.”  My passivity ran screaming out the door.

Pray Boldly!

One of the cardinal rules for life in both the earthly and spiritual realms is to ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.  Even one of Jesus’ parables spoke of “The Persistent Widow” (Luke 18:1-8) where Jesus was teaching his disciples that they should always pray and never give up.

The Rhythm of Prayer here actually has three parts.

1)  First, there’s the Address – something like “Merciful God…”  It can be fancied up , or just a couple words, or just one – hardly necessary, except perhaps as a courtesy.

2)  Then there is the great central part, the Petition.  Here’s where we (can be Bold to) ask for what we want.  Be Bold to be Bold.

3)  Then there’s the Postlude or Resignation (which can be very brief)  “Not my will but thy will be done.”  (This can be even accompanied by tears, and/or collapse.)  Or it can be spoken almost as an afterthought. It can even have the drama of “Yes, I know you’re God and I’m not, but dammit, listen to me!”  And to know that He does, and in spite of any of his rules and precepts, He cares.¹

The secret of this pattern is that the Postlude follows the great center (Petition) of the prayer.  That’s what I’m asking for here.  God hears both the Great Central Petition and the Postlude.  With God, they don’t erase each other.  Human logic would have them contradict each other (either/or).  But in God’s logic (theo-logic) they coexist easily.  Let God be fully God, and let us be fully Human.  So our secret is to Pray Boldly – and let it work!  Actually, one doesn’t even have to be a believer to get God’s ear (though there are parts of the New Testament that seem to contradict this).

Also in the central part, it’s OK to be Selfish.²  I’ll add that one of the reasons I’m praying for a shorter sentence is a selfish reason – I want to still be alive when she’s released.  God honors a healthy self (or self-esteem or self-respect).  He created that soul depth in us.  In 6th Grade Sunday School, we’re often taught to be humble and even timid before God.  Sometimes it takes till we’re 40 or even older to learn better. (And I’m now in my 80’s.)

I just heard a sermon on Paul’s Letter to the Galatians, Chapter 5, where he gives that great list of Gifts of the Spirit, compared to (again a great list) of the “works of the flesh.”  And the preacher got hooked (as most do) by making it either/or.  One side wins, the other loses.  I felt so violated, because I am both/and.  Saint and sinner are not separate in me, yet (“in Christ”) I am not a divided man. [Oh well, maybe it was just a ‘bad day in the pew’ for me.] But I’ll still Pray Boldly for my friend to get out of prison, and will stay close while she is still in.  That’s me.  Both/and.  Like saint and sinner – not either/or, but fully both/and.  It’s a much more mature and adult spirituality.  It has life energy, chutzpah.  I’ll keep on “storming the gates.”

And so, as usual, I ask you to 

Pay Attention and Pray Boldly – even if it’s for another side. 

(and respond below if you will)

Footnotes:

¹  Sometimes I think of the saying, “Better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.”    Yet in the Bible, it seems whoever contends with God will 1) end up with a wound, and 2) will end up with a Blessing.  It’s not a win or lose.  It’s both, and often simultaneously.  The “Kingdom of God” is deep planted in our soul, and we are continuously fed from that. Sometimes it’s called “Eternal Life.”

²  Ever stepped into a semantic bee’s nest

Bill McDonald

July 1, 2025