Let me begin with an illustration. Let’s say I ask a particular person (person A) this question: “How are you feeling today?” And he answers, “I’m feeling depressed.” That’s a level one question – a data-level question, and he gives me a data-level answer – “depressed.” Now I ask him a second, meta-level or meaning-level question – “How do you feel about feeling depressed? “ And he answers – ”depressed.” An honest question and a simple answer.
Now I’ll ask another person the same level one question – “How are you feeling today?” And he honestly answered me – “depressed.” then I asked him the second level or meaning level question. “How do you feel about being depressed? ” He answers, “It’s OK, I’ll get over it.”
The base reality is the same (fixed), but the meaning-level reality can differ. That’s why I call it “the two levels of reality.”
What do you want that to mean?
Sometimes, when I’m with a client, and they’re giving me a data-level description of their situation, I’ll ask them, “Now, what do you want that to mean (for you)?” And their response is often a glassy-eyed silence. They have no idea what I’ve just said. And so I’ll give them a brief description like the one above. Then I’ll say something like, “The data level is often something we really can’t change. It’s simply “what is.” But the second level, the “meaning level,” is an area where we frequently can change. Often, in therapy, we may not be able to do much about what is, but therapy’s secret is changing the second level, the meaning of what is.
Where we have choices
A recent client told me about a recurring pattern in his life where things always seem negative. That was the what is of his life. I asked him where it may have come from. He recalled that his father frequently said, “You will never amount to much of anything.” Then I asked him, “What do you want that to mean?” I led him through several examples or possibilities in response to my question. And I said, “This is where you do have choices ” – and gave him many examples, hoping to awaken a new optional reality of level two life.
And, what I find remarkable is that often, with meaning-level choices, even our experience of “what is” life can change.
Can this pattern Reverse Engineer?
This was a new question for me – which only arose while writing the first half of this article. Let me now draw your attention to the current Middle East ‘troubles’ now called the Israel/Hamas War.
The Defense (and Lesson) of Israel
Almost immediately after the horrors of October 7, our president spoke of “the right of Israel to defend itself.” This was a translation of an international “Permission” for Israel to defend itself. A second but weaker level of that “right/permission” was a plea to at least abide by the Rules of War (cf International Humanitarian Law) and spare ‘damage’ to civilians, especially women, children, and older people. But still, you can go ahead and eradicate (kill) the enemy, the evil Hamas. Israel’s apparent Plan A
Israel’s right to defense is a second-level phenomenon. It’s a ‘meaning’ that emerges from being the victim of an attack. In brain theory,[1] the primitive (“Reptilian Brain”) is triggered, and vengeance is desired, allowed, and briefly satisfied.[2]
Israel’s roots in the Old Testament code of laws contain the legal concept “an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.” In a sense, the punishment should match the crime. The one who has inflicted the injury should suffer the same damage. Our icon of Justice (the blind woman holding the scales) contains the same “balance.” Justice should be based on balance rather than retribution (the primitive brain).[3]
But their earlier Nazi torturers taught them a lower order – “ten eyes for an eye, and ten teeth for a tooth.” For many years, I’ve noticed that modern Israel embodies some of this identical sense of retributive superiority over balanced justice – especially regarding their Palestinian neighbors.[4]
We Americans have a common heritage and pattern. When we (mostly European whites) came to this land, already inhabited and well-managed by the ‘Native Americans,’ we invented “Manifest Destiny,” by which we had a ‘right’ to take the land and its riches for ourselves. And in so doing, it was natural to see and treat (and decimate) the Native American as a lower class of humanity. So, with Israel. In 1948, when the United Nations carved out of Palestine a “Homeland for the Jewish People,” – the Native Palestinians were pushed aside to second-class status and “reservation” living. And so, of course (as any undergraduate psychology student can understand), Hamas was birthed. With its primitive brain mentality, they invaded Israel, triggering the latter’s heritage of primitive brain mentality – and a long-simmering powder keg is ignited.
And so, just recently, Israel just bombed and killed many many innocents in Gaza, but justified it as necessary to take out one particular Hamas leader. I recall, in the Vietnam War, an American officer of high rank said (with a straight face), “It was necessary to save (a Vietnam village) by destroying it” (along with its population).
We need to stand with and for the Palestinians, along with standing with and for Israel. Divided, we will eventually all fall. Any other considered outcome is for sure a foolish fantasy.
It seems there is a spiritual law in the universe that says, “How we treat those who are ‘other’ to us determines how we will survive ourselves.”[5] Both Israel and we, Americans, are in great danger. We have lost or forgotten that moral base. And we are each in danger of a great collapse.
So again, if we can take an honest look at our base heritage/reality (together), our level one reality, and see ourselves honestly, then we can rise above it (together) and discern a ‘meaning-level’ reality that will save and enhance our lives and our gifts for the greater world and its future.
Perhaps it’s as simple (and also complicated) as that. Our posterity, our children and grandchildren cry out for it and deserve it – from us.[6]
Pay Attention
Footnotes
[1] Using Paul MacLean’s “Triune Brain” model from the 1960’s.
[2] The higher two levels of MacLean’s Triune Brain are the Mammalian Brain, or Limbic System, where emotional wisdom is experienced and matured – and the third level, the Homo Sapiens Brain, or Neo Cortex, where intellectual functioning, conscious thought, and self-awareness emerge. Hence, it is said that as human beings, we are ‘meaning-making’ creatures above all.
[3] My cultural heritage is Judaeo-Christian. So the “eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth…” justice was intended to be a guiding ethic for legislators and judges, curtailing the behavior of personal vengeance. And as a Christian (frequently tempted to believe our system is even superior to Judaism), we have Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:38-42), upping the ante, “You have heard it said, ‘an eye for an eye…but I tell you, do not resist an evil person…turn the other cheek also…” – taking vengeance out of the equation entirely. Oops!
[4] Well, maybe only ‘‘six eyes’ – but still way beyond the primary moral ethic.
[5] I had the great fortune just recently to see the Metropolitan Opera’s (live simulcast to local theaters) performance of “Dead Man Walking” – which so poignantly portrayed the true story journey to redemption by a man on death row, Joseph De Rocher, and a Catholic Nun, Sister Helen Prejean. Now, I better understand the deeper meaning of ‘balanced’ justice. It’s redemptive justice – where even Love can now enter the calculation. It’s a high order! But by some grace, possible.
[6] Maybe a bit grandiose there, Bill – but still valid.
Afterword
As I mentioned, the first half of this article has been in my head and practice for several years – and I have no memory of where or by whom it came.
But then, it’s as if what I had written was daring me to carry it farther – into territory incognita (unknown, or at least undeveloped). With the Israel/Hamas debacle roaring past us daily, I realized I did want to explore it at a deeper level and hopefully add to the larger dialogue of “what the hell is going on, and what can we learn and do about it?” And as I professionally wrestle with the ‘things’ of human nature, I know that easy answers are usually inadequate and possibly wrong. So, this is my contribution to the dialogue. And though I stand behind them, I’m aware some of this is not fully polished in logic.
As for the deluge of footnotes, many of you readers know it’s just how I think, so I indulge. Hopefully, they’re helpful.
And as to any charges of antisemitism, that is not the case. Judaism is part of my cultural and spiritual heritage, as is Christianity. Both are beautiful, and both have done a lot of mischief. So be it. As with other spiritual communities as well, they are communities of the human heart. Deo Gratias.