or – Is the Universe Friendly?
This title just ‘came to me’ from somewhere – an experience that I’ve begun trusting more and more lately. And I had no idea even what it meant! But I wrote it down, and the word stayed in front of me for some days – and I began to trust that I was to follow them somehow anyway.
Added to this, are experiences of this past year, which have had me asking too often , “Why is this happening to me?” The kind of “signs and portents” I’ve professionally long advised others to take seriously.
But this writing is not the time or place to share specifics, but to penetrate deeper questions and wisdom about life itself, at the intersection of two often contrary yet primary principles.
[First, let me define the word “principle.” The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as “the fundamental source or basis for something.” We can think of this “something” as 100% of our life experience. Therefore, I take those inner secrets seriously.]
Providence – Prosperity and/or survival
Will I survive? Will I be able to access what I need, or (a related question, what I want)? We are in a time of job loss, of income insecurity, at times, even of life and death. It seems we now live in a time when the rich can get obscenely richer, and the poor are left to suffer and die.
I used to have access (lost in some back room file folder) to a quote from the late Buckminster Fuller (the inventor of the geodesic dome) to the effect that on this planet there is enough for everybody alive to have basic needs met – the only problem is “distribution” – human greed. [Note: In the back of my head I’ve begun planning a Newsletter on the specific topic of human greed.]
Circumstance – “Things Happen”
I recall some years ago sharing with a friend a particularly difficult situation of another friend – only to have her simply reply, “things happen.” My immediate inner response was a reactive, though unspoken, “have you no pity!” I was upset, and upon reflection, I was in need of a sympathetic response. My friend was generally a sympathetic listener, as well as having her own experience of life as a roller-coaster ride. Yes, life has its ups and downs, and it’s not uncommon for a client to also use the roller-coaster analogy – trusting that roller-coaster gods are supposed to land us each alive and well and exhilarated! That’s the secret behind our paying money for the experience.
Some of the things that can happen, emerge from a daredevil frame of reference, sometimes called “tempting fate.” I’m old enough to recall the words “birth control” having a scarier mindset.
Are these two principles related? On the surface, no. But I began with the sense that there is a relationship, which is the question/purpose of this writing.
Let me begin with two related principles which parents early teach their children.
Fairness
It’s a common dilemma-question raised by children – “that’s not fair!”
Parents will often teach their children about fairness. It’s often considered the world’s First Lesson, a first principle. Children are generally selfish – and beginning in a family setting, in response to individual self-centeredness and parental rules, children by nature want to complain, “that’s not fair!” This first principle is the primary concept of balance. It’s meant to maintain a primal concept of enough for everybody (Providence)
From my Native American history comes an oft-spoken ritual affirmation:
Blessings and Balance, Balance and Blessing,
For, from Balance comes all Blessings.
And, as is true of many (or all) indigenous cultures, it’s a lesson that emerges from studying Nature – the natural world.
For children, it introduces the consideration of the needs and feelings of and for others. Hence the word “fair.” This is what the late Buckminster Fuller was teaching about “enough for everybody.” The principle of Providence.
Care
But when Providence isn’t enough, when the Circumstances of life bring imbalance, the second principle emerges – Care. Care for each other. The primary (first) teaching place here is usually within the family.
When something goes ‘wrong’ – such as a fall or bruise, or something ‘serious’ – the principle of Care emerges, somebody will “take care” of the situation. As I have noted in previous writing, it is the purpose of a government (or governing factor) to provide care (or remedy) in circumstances where an individual or class of people have a need beyond their individual ability to manage.
And so, from the lessons of childhood, learned primarily in a family (or tribal) setting, emerge ongoing decisions of Balance – a lifelong consideration of balance between Providence and Circumstance.
Balance
I began with two concepts that on the surface were opposite and generally unrelated to each other. Providence and Circumstance. Each paragraph had a very different focus, a different language. And I was given the challenge to connect them. And, truth to tell, when I began this writing I had no idea where it would lead. (That’s the magic of writing for me, and in a larger sense, the magic of an open and honest life.)
What can begin as a debate, or an argument, or a contest, or a sport game, or even a war – there is a tension of opposites. By the grace of early childhood experience, they can turn out to be…
Two sides of the same coin.
Consider the nature of a coin. We can only see one side at a time, except to see its wholeness only through the eyes of another person. Yet both sides are enclosed in a single unending circle. Something surrounds us, always there to hold us together. From balance, a blessing emerges. They turn out to be two sides of the same coin.
Children are born with two questions. 1) How and where can I feel safe? and 2) how do I deal with these others? And the answers usually come early, and are formative.
Logically they are two questions with two separate answers. But children don’t want logic, they want experience.
At the same time, the answers that usually emerge from healthy parents don’t just come from their experience, they also come from an inner wisdom which has been more deeply born into each of us.
Our own Creation Story has an ordering power – (one of the names of the Almighty is “Creator of Heaven and Earth.”) speaking into a primal chaos, a word of Blessing. Each step (day) of Creation was sealed with “and (he) saw that it was Good.”
“Balance and Blessing.”
Deep within each of us is this secret of the coin. Two opposite sides, which can only be fully seen through the eyes of another, yet contained within a never-ending circle.
Hope?
There’s a hunger that hope can be logical, and somehow even ‘scientific.’ And often it is, or can be. But what I’m talking about here is stronger than hope – it comes from a deeper source than logic. Maybe called the human soul. (Where AI will never fully reach.) Where children’s questions are often born and thrive.
Now take a look again at the principles of Providence and Circumstance. Somehow, being parents of children, we’re drawn into their two questions. At first they sound opposite. But children hunger for them to be combined.
Is the Universe friendly?
Our children want to see from us that the answer is Yes.
And deep within each of us,
by a grace that can be stronger than just hope,
that is the right answer.
Pay Attention.
Bill McDonald
November 6, 2026