Awhile ago, I was working with a young man (young from my own perspective, being in his upper 30’s). Much of our work has been focusing on communication patterns in his marriage, which was a source of much friction for them. We’d covered a number of the primary patterns and mistakes of marital living, but still there was an edge we just couldn’t access.
Then one week he mentioned he’d come to a realization. Whenever she would mention something, he said he’d instinctively respond in a casually opposing manner, considering that what he was doing was “making some space for conversation.” I asked him if worked; he laughed and said no.
I laughed as well, and then shared what came to my mind. I’d gotten to know her fairly well through his sharing about her through our sessions. She would experience this as opposition and even belittling. He had just come to this realization as well.
