Forty some years ago I had a book titled “Friendship” - an academic study of the subject.  However, I’ve long since lost track of it - probably lending it to someone who’s name I carelessly didn’t note in my “books lent” file.[1]

The three phases of friendship

My most important memory from it is where the author delineating three phases or stages of development of the subject: The first phase is populated with those friends whom we’ve kept or enjoyed over time - but as we ourselves grow and change, come to no longer share so much in common. They slip by the wayside, or disappear from view. Perhaps we can say, they no longer feed the soul.  

Let me jump to the third phase, which has to do with the new emerging friendships that will show up, more in tune (or sync) with whom we’ve become, or match our ongoing maturity and/or life purpose.

But it’s the second phase the author posited that caught my attention those many years ago. It’s that ‘space in-between’ when our old friends have receded and new ones haven’t yet emerged. It’s often empty, lonely and frequently chaotic.