Couple Communication Coaching

Over the years I’ve developed an acute ear for the various subtleties and patterns in couple and marital communication.  Often these differences follow common male/female communication differences, but not always.    

One service I offer is the discernment and training in these patterns.

Marital communication is often very different than our communication in the ‘outside’ world.  Out there we’re usually dealing with the world of work - the world of getting things done, accomplishments, managing the many types of relationships and intricacies that make up our “out in the world” life.

But the heart of couple or marital communication is a different heart.  When we ‘come home’ we often need a place of emotional safety, a place where we don’t have to posture and prove, to extend and demonstrate ourselves as worthy.  The heart of this at-home communication is a place of being heard, being known, being present, being accepted.  Sometimes the term is used, unconditional love.

This is not the same love that brings a couple together in the beginning.  It’s not the same as that original attraction or even passion.  It’s more a ‘third thing’ that begins to grow in the spaces and overlaps and contentions of marital life and communication.  Perhaps a better term than grows is that it is forged - forged in the furnace of living together.

One key to this is its verbal communication patterns.  And the teaching and learning of these patterns is often a great benefit to their ongoing success.

Bill McDonald

August 6, 2014